I had the good fortune of seeing many old friends whom I not only went to h igh school with, but with whom I attended elementary school and Jr High School. These were friends from literally 30 years ago. What was especially nice was seeing how friendly the group was, how there were genuine expressions of camaraderie amongst the group.

I ran into the first girl I ever kissed, Cynthia, way back in 2nd grade. She was still taller than I, at least I thought she was, until she took off her 4 inch heels, and was there with her husband. They live in Nevada with their 13 year old daughter, and are in the jewelry making business.

And there was my friend Ed, who works for the cable channel E, and Shelley, who now goes by her middle name Dava, and would love to meet a nice Jewish man to marry, and Richard, a photographer for the LA Times, and Hyacinth, a single woman who adopted 2 children and is a minister.

And then there was Adam. I never spent a great deal of time thinking about Adam when we were in school together, and if I hadnt seen him at the reunion, I probably never would have thought about him again.

As soon as I saw him, I remembered his bitterness, his hostility, and what my father would call the chip on his shoulder. As it is a mitzvah to greet someone before they greet you, and furthermore to do so in a friendly way, I went over to him immediately and reintroduced myself, and told him that it was nice to see him. He responded by making an obnoxious comment about his earlier athletic superiority, and walked away.

On Rosh HaShana it is customary to eat symbolic foods. The symbolism of these different foods is varied. Some are sweet tasting, such as honey, symbolize the hope for a sweet year, others, such as fish and pomegranates, symbolize growth and abundance of merits (Rashi).

The placing of a sheep or fish head (I personally prefer a fish head!) on the Rosh HaShana table symbolizes something else entirely. The prayer recited before eating the head includes the phrase LRosh, vlo LZanav LRosh -- like a head, vlo LZanav -- and not like a tail.

The prayer is based on the verse from Deuteronomy in which Moshe states that God shall place the people Israel as a head and not as a tail, because the you (Bnai Yisrael) have listened to Gods commandments. Another interpretation is offered by R. Eliezer of Dzikov, who takes the Hebrew word LRosh and forms the acrostic L aasot Rtson Avinu Shebashamayim which means to fulfill the will of our Father in heaven.

Sometimes it is easier to behave like a tail. To behave like a head, however, requires effort and determination. To behave like a head means elevating oneself above the pettiness and jealousy and childishness of the past, represented by the tail, and acting like a mensch, represented by the head.

The message is a universal one for all Jews, and for all humanity. Carrying around anger and bitterness for years and years isnt empowering, but rather paralyzing. It doesnt strengthen, it weakens. It doesnt elevate, but rather lowers.