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From the Bimah
March 2005

With so much negative, painful news that fills our lives, the holiday of Purim comes as a welcome reprieve. In this issue of the Voice, I want to share with you something that has again come across my desk/E-mail folder; something, that I hope will put a smile on your face. So, in the spirit of Purim, and in reaction to dreary news that continually fills our lives, I present to you (drum roll please): "Synagogue Bulletin Bloopers." By the way, these bloopers actually appeared in various synagogue bulletins.

Take for example, one bulletin announcement that mentioned: "Donāt let worry kill you. Let your synagogue help." Or, "Join us for our Oneg after services. Prayer and medication to follow. And: Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our congregation." Now, between you and me, I have often felt pray can help with what ails you, in fact, some researchers have concluded that it actually has a medical benefit, but really!

Here is another: "We are pleased to announce the birth of David Weiss, the sin of Rabbi and Mrs. Abe Weiss." Who said the sin of the fathers/mothers is not passed down to future generations? This next one is potentially self-incriminating: "Thursday at 5:00 p.m., there will be a meeting of the ĪLittle Mothers Club.ā All women wishing to become ĪLittle Mothers,ā please see the rabbi in his private study." Hey, leave me out of that one!!!

After some considerable thought, I think I now understand why Askenazic authorities prohibit legumes during Passover: "A bean supper will be held Wednesday evening in the community center--music will follow." Or, how about this one? "The ladies of Hadassah have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the basement on Tuesdays." Full Monty anyone?

But if itās not the Hadassah women stirring up trouble, you can bet itās the Menās Club. "The Menās Club is warmly invited to the Oneg hosted by Hadassah. Refreshments will be served for a nominal feel." Hey, maybe the Hadassah and Menās Club have the right idea on how to generate a new generation of members after all?

Finally, one synagogueās newsletter boldly announced: "We are taking up a collection to defray the cost of the new carpet in the sanctuary. All those wishing to do something on the carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper." All I can say is, Thank God for Scotch Guard!

As with most of our Jewish holidays, they are joyous and fun filled, above all--the holiday of Purim. Come out and celebrate this wonderful day with your "KM" community. If there has ever been a time to put a smile on your face, and fill your soul with joy and laughter, the time is now. Hag Purim Samech!!!

Rabbi Michael Gotlieb