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From the Bimah
March 2007

With so much negative, painful news that fills our lives, the holiday of Purim comes as a welcome reprieve. Purim is a time for fun, emotional release, and escape.

In this month's issue of the Voice, I want to share something silly, and slightly impertinent, but in keeping with the joyous tone of Purim. I hope, for nothing else, it will put a smile on your face, and fill your heart with laughter.

So, in the spirit of Purim (drum roll please), I present to you:

"Metaphors Found in High School Essays"

By the way, these quotes actually appeared in various essays written by high school kids gleaned and submitted for publication by their English teachers. Here are some of the winners.

Take for example, one student's association: "Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master."

Or, "His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like clothing in a dryer without Cling Free."

Here's another: "He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it."

Ah, the creative impulse of a young mind: "The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine."

Having had two children who recently took the SAT college entrance exam, I can relate to this next one: "Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph."

This next one is potentially self-incriminating: "He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River."

Maybe this is the reason Jews fast the day before Purim: "The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while."

Though I never tried them, largely because they are not kosher, here is another high school student's metaphor worthy of note -- I think: "The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease."

Finally this one, "He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up."

As with most Jewish holidays, they are joyous and fun filled, above all, the holiday of Purim. Come out and celebrate this wonderful day with your "KM" community.

If there has ever been a time to put a smile on your face, and fill your soul with joy and laughter, the time is now. Hag Purim Sameach!!!

Rabbi Michael Gotlieb